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Looper

Crit

More accurately "Loopy": a time-travel sci-fi that goes way past never making you believe the premise to never making you care much one way or the other. If I hadn't read so much about the prosthetic transformation of Joseph Gordon-Levitt's designed (but not successfully) to make him believable as a young Bruce Willis, I might not have realized that it was he, and I certainly wouldn't have been so distracted. Thing is, Joe's nose would have had 30 years' worth of chances to get flattened like that--in fact, we even see one moment that might have done it. Sometimes people people think so much that they just don't use their heads, you know?

So blah blah blah, I've got to do this in the past to stop that happening in the future, and meanwhile, Sara (Emily Blunt) fucks Joe (young Joe) one night for no other reason than that you can't have two young movie hotties in a movie together without making it a love story.

Time travel doesn't exist in the present, but it does 30 years from now, at which point I'm coming back to skip this flick.

Trailers

• Red Dawn--No fair showing us Adrianne Palicki and a high school football field and not have it be Friday Night Lights.
• Paranormal Activity 4--No no no no.
• Silent Hill: Revelation 3D--Holy crap, does Adelaide Clemens look like a younger Michelle Williams or what?!
• Lincoln--Well, there doesn't seem to be any missing it, but golly, it looks so Big and Self-Consciously Important. Not sure I realized that it's Spielberg. One early concern: I have nothing against an Englishman playing Abe, but he really ought to sound more like he comes from my native state.