The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
(2007)
Gloriosky, isn't this art! It's so, like, arty, you know? I mean, like, the astigmatic camera, right? That's art, isn't it?
Yeesh: what a confused fucking film. Does it want to debunk myth (Jesse's a right bastard, ripe for assassination) or does it want to reinvigorate it (Jesse has to dust that fucking picture, just like in every other version, turning his back and basically saying, "Judas, dude, do what you're here for." And the portentous voiceover [see above]??? Puh-leeeeeze!)? And somebody tell me why mumbling and nosewiping gets Casey Affleck an Oscar nomination? I mean, I was no huge fan of Gone Baby Gone, but if you held one of those HUGE-fucking-hole-making six-shooters from this flick to my head and said "You must nominate Casey Affleck for an Oscar or we'll make a HUGE fucking hole in your head," I'd have gone with his performance in that before this.
And don't even get me started on the obscene wastes of Mary-Louise Parker and Zooey Deschanel; M-L: I'll write a script for you, with, like, actual dialogue; Z: let's talk about my musical, with a half-dozen show-stoppers for the female lead. Seriously, have your people call my people.
3 comments:
OK, I just finished this film. OY VEY! What were they thinking. I hear you on MLParker, and if it had been any slower it would have actually run backwards. Beautiful in places, but only in a "look at me!" kind of way. Disappointing.
Backwards! There's an idea: The Memento of Jesse James . . .
The good news is if you're on a really long flight---I mean a REALLY LONG flight, and you can't sleep---I mean REALLY CAN'T sleep. This one will do it for you. Well, it did for me. zzzzzzzzz right over the international dateline.
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