12 May 2008

Iron-bat-hell-person

updated

Tradition that survived the marriage: when the Times publishes its seasonal movie previews, Jennie Tonic and I go through the capsules and rate our anticipation of each from 1 (won't go unless reviews are extraordinary) to 5 (won't miss unless reviews are abysmal). The iconic pictures for each extreme, illustrating what it takes to overcome our prejudices, are Robert Altman's Prêt-à-Porter, which sounded great until people saw it (though people seem to be reassessing it in recent years--even before he died--so I actually have it in my Netflix queue now), and Babe, which sounded like an idiotic kid pic (talking sheep? uh, right) until it was universally (and accurately) declared magical.

Anyway, the Times annoyingly isn't putting Dave Kehr's capsules online, but I'm still going to put my ratings here, as well as my occasional elaborations, in red. If you haven't recycled the Summer Movies section from Sunday's paper, just follow right along; otherwise, I've added the IMDb links. Most films get just a number, and most films get a 3--which often means simply "not enough information to lean in either direction." And I hope to get JT to add her votes, in whatever color she picks.

I'd like to say that at this point, for me, a 1 means no way in hell will I be seeing it. And since I see fewer movies these days, it takes more to get me off a 3.

May, open, thus reviewed, thus decided upon
May 9
May 14
  • Hamaca paraguaya (Paraguayan hammock) 3: great title; would be a good name for a rock band 3
May 16
May 21
May 22
  • Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull 4: filmed in part less than a block from work; plus, they've finally brought back the series' only acceptable female lead, Karen Allen. Why am I not a 5, I wonder? 4; I call it Indiana Jones and Lux et Veritas saw a good bumper sticker yesterday: Yale lacrosse: Lax et Veritas
May 23
May 28
  • Mukhsin 3: final film in a trilogy, and I haven't seen either of the others, so who am I kidding? 3
May 30
  • Bigger, Stronger, Faster* 2 1
  • The Foot Fist Way 2 2
  • Le Fils de l'épicier (The Grocer's Son) 3; oh, right: I knew Clotilde Hesme sounded familiar: the dark-haired woman of the Chansons d'amour ménage 4
  • Savage Grace 3 3+; did you not notice Julianne Moore was in this? I did not--not now I have the vague recollection of having seen the trailer some time ago
  • Sex and the City: The Movie 3; yeah, I Netflixed the whole series, but I'm skeptical 2, even though parts were filmed a few blocks from me
  • The Strangers 3, tending toward 2 1
  • Stuck 2 2; wasn't that a New Yorker story, where someone hits someone with a car and lets the person die? I know I've seen/read it somewhere recently dunno
  • La sconosciuta (The unknown woman) 3 3+
June 4
June 6
  • La terza madre (Dario Argento's Mother of Tears) 2: another 3rd part of a trilogy I haven't seen the rest of 2
  • The Go-Getter 4: doesn't sound great, except for having four of my favorite young moviewomen in the cast, Zooey Deschanel, Jena Malone, Maura Tierney, and Judy Greer; so 1 point for each 3, skeptical on this for adults perhaps, but that has nothing to do w/ me
  • Kung Fu Panda 2: I predict an unusually dry summer for kids' flicks 2; when will Sexual Harassment Panda get his shot at the silver screen? I'll bet he's one saaaad motherfucking panda by now!
  • Love Comes Lately 3, but . . . Rhea Perlman! 3+
  • Miss Conception 3: more baby-making! 3
  • Hallam Foe 3, but Ciarán Hinds, Caesar in HBO's Rome 4, I guess; isn't the title Mister Foe? yeah, but in copying and pasting from IMDb, I've added U.S. titles only when there's not an obvious cue in the orig. title
  • Mongol 3--and it seems likely to come downtown, where the bar's lower; don't forget: this got an Oscar nom. for Best Foreign-Language Film 3, 4 if it's not 2.5 hrs 120m per IMDb
  • On the Rumba River 3 3
  • The Promotion hopeful 3 3+
  • Take Out 3 5--immigrants in NYC is an automatic 5 now
  • Am Limit 3 3+--title is To the Limit hey, do I insist on English translations in your blog?
  • And When Did You Last See Your Father? 3, but Jim Broadbent and Colin Firth 4 what, you're not going to complain about the initial "And"?
  • You Don't Mess with the Zohan 3: oh, grow up, Adam 3, generously
June 11
June 13
  • The Happening 3 4, for Marky saw trailer yest., and it's very reminiscent of Signs and Lady in the Water, neither of which I liked much
  • The Incredible Hulk 4; hey, double-Marvel Comics summer for Robert Downey Jr.! strong 4 on cast--wow! Norton + Roth + Downey!
  • My Winnipeg 5: one word: Guy Maddin 4+
  • Quid Pro Quo 3, but Vera Farmiga's always a plus 3
June 20
June 25
June 27
  • Elsa y Fred 3 4; saw trailer, looks like fun
  • Finding Amanda 3 3
  • Gunnin' for That #1 Spot 3 3
  • Une vieille maîtresse (The last mistress) 2: Catherine Breillat 2; sounds hateable! true dat
  • Razzle Dazzle 3 3
  • Ne le dis à personne (Tell no one) 3 4, it's French yeah, and I'll bet you wouldn't have insisted on the English title for this one if I'd omitted it!
  • Trumbo 4 4
  • WALL·E 2: prejudiced against it in part because I'm sick of having that promotional replica at the multiplex talk to me when I walk by 2; who gives a f**k about robots? it's OK: you can say "fuck" here; I've tested it out
  • Wanted 4: trailer looked 3ish, tending toward 4, but that was before I knew it was dir. by Timur Bekmambetov (the Night Watch trilogy) 3; the premise is really silly in stark contrast to the parallel universe-vampire world premise of the trilogy. Yeah, I know: you haven't seen those either; your loss.

July 2

  • Hancock 4: may challenge The D. Knight for Darkest comic-book movie of the year, but then again, everybody involved with the film seems to be trying extra hard to make us think that, so this 4 comes w/ the proviso that critical evisceration would not surprise me 3
July 3
July 4
July 9
  • Full Battle Rattle oh, I see: I just figured out the Times blurb, and having done so, I almost slide up to 4, but no: 3 3; what the hell does the capsule tell us??!! you have to read, reread, study, and slowly the meaning emerges
July 11
  • Giorni e nuvole (Days and clouds) 3 3
  • Hellboy II: The Golden Army strong 4: liked the first one, and Guillermo Del T is El Hombre 2
  • Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D 3: saw dopey (3D) trailer; if anyone can save it, Fraser can, but . . . 2, based on ad
  • Kenny oh, my god! They filmed Kenny! You bastards! Actually, it's about portable toilets in Australia, which is almost as good: 4 3
  • Meet Dave 4: trailer gives me hope that our decades of prayer for the redemption of Eddie Murphy's soul have been heard 3; haven't seen trailer
  • Religulous 4 3
July 18
July 23
July 25
August 1
August 6
August 8
  • Fly Me to the Moon 2; Buzz Aldrin as himself! 2; we're going to hell in a handcart
  • Hell Ride 2; did they even have to tell us that QT is one of the producers? 2
  • Pineapple Express 4: laughed my ass off at the trailer; of course, I was high 3; didn't realize it was David Gordon Green
  • The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 2? Filmed in part (stealthily) in New Haven while the Indy crew was here 2
  • Towelhead 3, near 4 on the basis of Alan Ball 4
  • Transsiberian 4: about fucking time Brad Anderson got off his ass; of course, this'll probably be an area exclusive in his hometown of Madison. Emily Mortimer always a plus 4
August 15
August 20
August 22
August 29
  • Babylon A.D. 3; what I learned from the blurbs: that Michelle Yeoh is from Malaysia. Oh! Didn't notice before that the dir. did La Haine--that pushes me toward 4 2, despite Charlotte Rampling
  • College 1 also 1, despite our wildly divergent educational experiences
  • Das Haus der schlafenden Schönen (House of the sleeping beauties) 2: creeparama! 2, blech
  • Sukiyaki Western Django great title, but 3 2
  • Traitor 4 on cast; where's Guy Pearce been? Speaking of where, are any of my Future Wives in any films this summer? (Whoa! While checking on Julianne Moore, I see that she's in a film I didn't know was being made, based on one of my favorite novels by my favorite contemporary novelist. I'll just leave it there for now.) No Moore, no Davis, no Clarkson; who am I missing? I'm not a very good Future Husband if I can't remember all my Future Wives. Anyway, I guess I'm gonna have to get my summer fantasies from the comic books. Oh! Of course! Laura Linney--also not in anything this summer. 3; interesting cast. I think that Julianne Moore movie was shot in my old neighborhood, whatever it was you don't remember what your old neighborhood was? Even I remember what your old neighborhood was.
  • Year of the Fish 2 4, immigrants
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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

She thinks Cameron Diaz looks like a man?!? (I once saw a sea bird that looked like Robert Duvall. I have a picture of it.)

Ah, you see, I couldn't tell that those words were in a foreign language--e.g., "Am."

12 May, 2008 22:30

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