Location, location, location

The Five-Year Engagement

Crit

My father used to say, quoting an uncle or an orchard employee or maybe just some equally mythical invention of his father when he passed the adage along to his son, "I can kick my dog, but nobody else had better kick my dog." Which is a terribly non-PC adage nowadays, of course, but the point isn't about animal abuse; it's about the privilege of intimacy. So, for example, as someone who lived 38 of his first 40 years in central Illinois before moving east, I can say I'd rather have a needle laced through both eardrums than ever live on the prairie again--but by god I don't want any outsiders taking cheap shots at the Midwest. In fact, I don't even much care whether writer-director Nicholas Stoller or his cowriter Jason Segel have any midwestern background (they seem not to: Stoller was born in London and raised in Miami, which is a combination I don't believe I've ever encountered before, and Segal's an Angelino; producer Judd Apatow was born in the shadow of Shea Stadium), any shots taken at my homeland should at least cost something. I've spent little time in Ann Arbor, but I know for a fact that it's not the Seventh Circle of Hell portrayed here--Third Circle, tops. Bottoms. At worst. Whatever. Now if it had been Iowa City . . .

Still, the film is admirable for tackling a theme rarely touched in romcoms, and as someone with some experience with the geographical imperative as relationship impediment, I think they got that pretty right. Except, of course, for the part--mandatory in a romcom, not so much in real life--where suddenly all the complications melt in the face of irresistible Love.

It may also be--I'll have to check my records and get back to you on this--the only romcom I've ever seen in which a lead character loses a toe.

Trailers

• Chernobyl Diaries--Well, OK, it's an original venue for a pretty-young-people-on-an-outing horror story, I'll give 'em credit for that.
• Ted--Can you say "high concept"? Boy's wish that his beloved stuffed animal could really talk to him, and so the bear is granted life; flash forward 20 years; hilarity ensues.